|| i have never experienced a loss so great than losing who i am. i miss how i used to look, how my body felt. i miss the confidence i once had. i miss what my body was capable of doing and who i felt like i could become. i miss the strength. i can’t tell you enough how i miss shoulder pressing. i miss sleep. i miss being oblivious to pain. chronic illness does not just change your body. it changes who you believe you are. it changes how you see yourself and others. 2019 is all about working on me with only the most genuine people around.