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❁ eating disorders are a scary thing.. there’s nothing pretty or glamorous about it. •
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❁ I remember having disordered thoughts about my body starting at the age of 8 which progressively got worse up until age 14, when I decided to quit gymnastics because I thought I was fat. 14-17 I started restricting my eating and then things took a turn for the worse from 17-21.
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❁ 5 long, scary years of being deep into my eating disorder, from binging/purging/starving myself, being hospitalized, self abuse.. I felt so alone and trapped inside my own mind that I thought dying would be easier so I didn’t have to deal with how much I hated every part of my being. it was literally hell on earth. •
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❁ I remember meeting a woman in the hospital that I roomed with that was 45 years old and she weighed under 80 pounds, she was being tube fed and she looked so fragile and sad.. like there was no life or joy left in her. I think that was one of the first times I realized how bad it could get.. wondering if I kept down this road.. would I end up like her? 😔
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❁ I’m so thankful and grateful for where I am today, and for the woman  that gave me a glimpse into my future.. if I didn’t force myself to recover I don’t think I would be where I am standing right now. ✨🙌🏻
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❁ I really hope this inspires someone out there to know that RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE, and that doesn’t just go for eating disorders. You are worthy of your own love and you deserve it. Never forget that! 💕
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#eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #transformationtuesday #bodytransformation #happinessisachoice #mentalhealthawareness #bodypositive #weightgain #healthybodyhealthymind #girlsthatlift #loveyourbody #empoweringwomen #strongisthenewskinny #fitgirlsofig #fitnesstransformation #feelinggrateful #changeyourmindset #musclegains #healthandfitness ❁ eating disorders are a scary thing.. there’s nothing pretty or glamorous about it. •

❁ i remember having disordered thoughts about my body starting at the age of 8 which progressively got worse up until age 14, when i decided to quit gymnastics because i thought i was fat. 14-17 i started restricting my eating and then things took a turn for the worse from 17-21.


❁ 5 long, scary years of being deep into my eating disorder, from binging/purging/starving myself, being hospitalized, self abuse.. i felt so alone and trapped inside my own mind that i thought dying would be easier so i didn’t have to deal with how much i hated every part of my being. it was literally hell on earth. •

❁ i remember meeting a woman in the hospital that i roomed with that was 45 years old and she weighed under 80 pounds, she was being tube fed and she looked so fragile and sad.. like there was no life or joy left in her. i think that was one of the first times i realized how bad it could get.. wondering if i kept down this road.. would i end up like her? 😔


❁ i’m so thankful and grateful for where i am today, and for the woman that gave me a glimpse into my future.. if i didn’t force myself to recover i don’t think i would be where i am standing right now. ✨🙌🏻


❁ i really hope this inspires someone out there to know that recovery is possible, and that doesn’t just go for eating disorders. you are worthy of your own love and you deserve it. never forget that! 💕


#eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #transformationtuesday #bodytransformation #happinessisachoice #mentalhealthawareness #bodypositive #weightgain #healthybodyhealthymind #girlsthatlift #loveyourbody #empoweringwomen #strongisthenewskinny #fitgirlsofig #fitnesstransformation #feelinggrateful #changeyourmindset #musclegains #healthandfitness
2,191 181 6 hours ago
#transformationtuesday 🌻 PHYSICAL TRANSFORMATION

i find my gym sessions therapeutic and challenging. i enjoy giving my workouts my all knowing i’m getting stronger physically, and mentally. 
i’ve started to see more and more definition of the muscle i’ve previously built during this cut. it has kept me motivated and i never thought i could be where i am today.
🌻 MENTAL TRANSFORMATION

i am learning to be happy and confident in my body. i have learned to love myself through the process and take each day as a new fresh start. now that i am finding my self love and confidence, it is 10x easier and more important to spread love, kindness and positivity to others. 
_
i have come to realize fitness journeys are called a “journey” because it’s a process, not a final destination. we have our whole lives to work with our bodies so we may as well love them through all the stages we go through. 
so let’s discover small things we LOVE about ourself. 
let’s discover what makes each of us unique.
let’s practice body positivity where we can feel proud of and love our body the way it is, and the potential and purpose it has.
there is no ‘final destination’ when it comes to our bodies.
just love it through your journey
and stay strong & beautiful ✨ #transformationtuesday 🌻 physical transformation

i find my gym sessions therapeutic and challenging. i enjoy giving my workouts my all knowing i’m getting stronger physically, and mentally.
i’ve started to see more and more definition of the muscle i’ve previously built during this cut. it has kept me motivated and i never thought i could be where i am today.
🌻 mental transformation

i am learning to be happy and confident in my body. i have learned to love myself through the process and take each day as a new fresh start. now that i am finding my self love and confidence, it is 10x easier and more important to spread love, kindness and positivity to others.
_
i have come to realize fitness journeys are called a “journey” because it’s a process, not a final destination. we have our whole lives to work with our bodies so we may as well love them through all the stages we go through.
so let’s discover small things we love about ourself.
let’s discover what makes each of us unique.
let’s practice body positivity where we can feel proud of and love our body the way it is, and the potential and purpose it has.
there is no ‘final destination’ when it comes to our bodies.
just love it through your journey
and stay strong & beautiful ✨
2,655 147 7 hours ago
How many of these have you brushed off as How many of these have you brushed off as "normal", thinking it was something everyone did? how many of you have recently realized it's time to seek help for your anxiety? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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📸: @thehealthtoast
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#weightingcomforts #weightedblanket #anxiety #antianxiety #depression #mentalhealth #mentalhealthspeaks #mentalillness #itsokaytonotbeokay #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #selfcarematters #selflove #seekhelp #youarestrongerthanyouthink #youmatter #youarenotalone #wellnessjourney
964 17 9 hours ago
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I take meds
I am not ashamed
You shouldn’t be either
⠀⠀🤜🏻 ✨✨✨ 🤛🏻
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#mentalhealth #endthestigma #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #takeyourmeds #depressionawareness #anxietydisorder #bipolardisorder #bipolardepression #bipolar2 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
i take meds
i am not ashamed
you shouldn’t be either
⠀⠀🤜🏻 ✨✨✨ 🤛🏻
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#mentalhealth #endthestigma #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #takeyourmeds #depressionawareness #anxietydisorder #bipolardisorder #bipolardepression #bipolar2
197 10 2 hours ago
Apparently I missed #backfatsunday and I haven’t done a #cellulitesaturday in awhile. So I know it’s Monday but here ya go. Ya girl’s a procrastinator anyways 🤷🏾‍♀️
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You know who hates fat people more than anyone else in the world? Fat people.
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Bet ya didn’t see that one coming. (Unless you’re fat, then you get me)
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We are taught from a young age that fat is bad. You know who learned that lesson best? Yup! Fat people.
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When you’re fat, other fat people are just fat people. They’re competition, they’re disgusting, they’re everything you don’t want to and can’t be.
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People who are just as fat as you are competitors in a game of “Who can be less fat so you survive less persecution?” Being less fat than another person means you can say to yourself “well I’m not that bad”
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If there’s anyone who doesn’t like fat people it’s other fat people who hate their bodies. There is a crazy desire to get skinnier and farther away from these people.
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So what’s one of the hardest things for me to learn alongside loving my body and living in it? That fat bodies are bad. They’re not gross. The person inhabiting them isn’t lazy and a slob. No, they’re still a person. Just like me. Just as worthy of life and respect as me.
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So what do I do? I take a lot of time checking myself. If I see a fat person I ask myself “what was I just thinking about them?” and I reframe it. I’m working on getting my first thought to not be a negative judgement based on weight.
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Do you struggle with this? Do you naturally jump to condemning people for their weight? Full disclosure and no judgement. What do you think? How do you handle it.
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Tell me in the comments👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾 Apparently i missed #backfatsunday and i haven’t done a #cellulitesaturday in awhile. so i know it’s monday but here ya go. ya girl’s a procrastinator anyways 🤷🏾‍♀️
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you know who hates f*t people more than anyone else in the world? f*t people.
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bet ya didn’t see that one coming. (unless you’re fat, then you get me)
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we are taught from a young age that f*t is bad. you know who learned that lesson best? yup! f*t people.
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when you’re fat, other f*t people are just f*t people. they’re competition, they’re disgusting, they’re everything you don’t want to and can’t be.
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people who are just as f*t as you are competitors in a game of “who can be less f*t so you survive less persecution?” being less f*t than another person means you can say to yourself “well i’m not that bad”
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if there’s anyone who doesn’t like f*t people it’s other f*t people who hate their bodies. there is a crazy desire to get skinnier and farther away from these people.
.
so what’s one of the hardest things for me to learn alongside loving my body and living in it? that f*t bodies are bad. they’re not gross. the person inhabiting them isn’t lazy and a slob. no, they’re still a person. just like me. just as worthy of life and respect as me.
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so what do i do? i take a lot of time checking myself. if i see a f*t person i ask myself “what was i just thinking about them?” and i reframe it. i’m working on getting my first thought to not be a negative judgement based on weight.
.
do you struggle with this? do you naturally jump to condemning people for their weight? full disclosure and no judgement. what do you think? how do you handle it.
.
tell me in the comments👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾
1,042 48 Yesterday
296/366 | #thisisrecovery365
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I see you both. Hurting in your own, but different, ways.
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I see one of you unaware, sometimes blissfully so, and one of you painfully aware. Too aware. So aware you’ve been worn raw from truth.
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I see one of you pleasing others, everyone around you, while one of you violently searches for herself. Her being. Her very essence. Craved but not yet found.
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I see one of you deep in her eating disorder, while the other, still plagued, has stepped up to fight it with all that she has.
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I see two pieces of a puzzle that’s not yet finished. A puzzle with another missing piece that will look completely different. .
We just have to get there. 
You just have to trust it. 
And I know how impossibly hard that is. 
But please, keep going. 
Keep searching.
Keep fighting.
Keep feeling.
Keep. Going.
To find her.
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She’s waiting.
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And maybe your next puzzle piece is waiting too. So keep going. Try to honor what came before you. Try to honor what you are in the present. I know it’s not easy but dig deep. Let’s keep doing the work. Every day.
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So we can honor what comes next.
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Love and Italian roast from here.
Xx
#healthoverhollywood 296/366 | #thisisrecovery365 .
i see you both. hurting in your own, but different, ways.
.
i see one of you unaware, sometimes blissfully so, and one of you painfully aware. too aware. so aware you’ve been worn raw from truth.
.
i see one of you pleasing others, everyone around you, while one of you violently searches for herself. her being. her very essence. craved but not yet found.
.
i see one of you deep in her eating disorder, while the other, still plagued, has stepped up to fight it with all that she has.
.
i see two pieces of a puzzle that’s not yet finished. a puzzle with another missing piece that will look completely different. .
we just have to get there.
you just have to trust it.
and i know how impossibly hard that is.
but please, keep going.
keep searching.
keep fighting.
keep feeling.
keep. going.
to find her.
.
she’s waiting.
.
and maybe your next puzzle piece is waiting too. so keep going. try to honor what came before you. try to honor what you are in the present. i know it’s not easy but dig deep. let’s keep doing the work. every day.
.
so we can honor what comes next.
.
love and italian roast from here.
xx
#healthoverhollywood
600 78 9 hours ago
One of THE scariest AND *most important* parts of my food freedom journey was opening up and letting people in...
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The 1st time I opened up and told a trusted (safe & trusted ppl are key here) friend that I struggled with binge eating it was as nauseating as what I would imagine speaking on stage in front of 50,000 people would feel like.
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I was sitting in my apartment-style dorm room in downtown Denver after praying for freedom from this mental hell hole for FOUR years at this point, and I felt it in my soul...”if you want out of this, you have to go tell her”
✨
I had been praying, “God take this from..pleasseee I’ll do anything not to struggle with this anymore...” for years & I kept hearing one thing..the same thing..”You’ve got to tell someone...”
✨
Every time I prayed, I heard that answer. And I refused & I literally laughed it off as absolutely crazzzyyy..
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Hell no! There is no way I will EVER tell a soul I struggle with such an embarrassing, shameful, and disgusting issue.
✨
And the years passed and it got worse and worse and worse...
✨
That night, my freshmen year of college, I heard the answer again deep in my soul...”tell her”
✨
This time I chose to listen. And I told my best friend. And it was complete word vomit...nothing made sense as I cried out what had been held inside for 4yrs.
✨
But here’s the best part & what I really hope you take away if you’re bearing this burden alone...it DOESN’T have to make sense to do what you need it to do, which is simply to begin releasing all the internal pressure that is further propelling the cycles.
✨
And it doesn’t matter the response you get either...find someone safe that you trust and TELL THEM. It doesn’t matter what comes out. Ask for support & grace & explain that you’re still trying to figure it out but you needed to bring it out of the dark and into the LIGHT and you appreciate them being the listening ear you need to take 1 more step forward!
✨
That’s it my sister. You’ve got this 💕 One of the scariest and *most important* parts of my food freedom journey was opening up and letting people in...

the 1st time i opened up and told a trusted (safe & trusted ppl are key here) friend that i struggled with binge eating it was as nauseating as what i would imagine speaking on stage in front of 50,000 people would feel like.

i was sitting in my apartment-style dorm room in downtown denver after praying for freedom from this mental hell hole for four years at this point, and i felt it in my soul...”if you want out of this, you have to go tell her”

i had been praying, “god take this from..pleasseee i’ll do anything not to struggle with this anymore...” for years & i kept hearing one thing..the same thing..”you’ve got to tell someone...”

every time i prayed, i heard that answer. and i refused & i literally laughed it off as absolutely crazzzyyy..

hell no! there is no way i will ever tell a soul i struggle with such an embarrassing, shameful, and disgusting issue.

and the years passed and it got worse and worse and worse...

that night, my freshmen year of college, i heard the answer again deep in my soul...”tell her”

this time i chose to listen. and i told my best friend. and it was complete word vomit...nothing made sense as i cried out what had been held inside for 4yrs.

but here’s the best part & what i really hope you take away if you’re bearing this burden alone...it doesn’t have to make sense to do what you need it to do, which is simply to begin releasing all the internal pressure that is further propelling the cycles.

and it doesn’t matter the response you get either...find someone safe that you trust and tell them. it doesn’t matter what comes out. ask for support & grace & explain that you’re still trying to figure it out but you needed to bring it out of the dark and into the light and you appreciate them being the listening ear you need to take 1 more step forward!

that’s it my sister. you’ve got this 💕
843 15 2 hours ago
We are all entitled to have feelings. Feelings simply exist. We are all human, and we all sometimes feel jealousy, hatred, frustration, irritation and other negative emotions. There is no need to blame yourself for these feeling because this way you will only create even more negative emotions. Just accept that you feel what you feel and get ready to turn the negative energy into positive energy. ✨
. . . . . . . // #psychology 
#mentalhealth #selfcare #selflove #selfhelp #psychologist #recovery #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #mentalillness #bpd #selfesteem #mindsetiseverything #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mentaldisorders #selfawareness #quotesdaily #quotesaboutlife #quotesandsayings #ptsd #ptsdawareness #therapy #mindfulness #mentalhealthawareness We are all entitled to have feelings. feelings simply exist. we are all human, and we all sometimes feel jealousy, hatred, frustration, irritation and other negative emotions. there is no need to blame yourself for these feeling because this way you will only create even more negative emotions. just accept that you feel what you feel and get ready to turn the negative energy into positive energy. ✨
. . . . . . . // #psychology
#mentalhealth #selfcare #selflove #selfhelp #psychologist #recovery #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #mentalillness #bpd #selfesteem #mindsetiseverything #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mentaldisorders #selfawareness #quotesdaily #quotesaboutlife #quotesandsayings #ptsd #ptsdawareness #therapy #mindfulness #mentalhealthawareness
502 6 4 hours ago