I used to think of myself as a nuisance, and after a while i saw myself as a toy for people, someone to just f**k around with. i used to cry myself to sleep every summer, every time the clock hit 12am on my birthday. i used to think “oh god not another year” ((and don’t worry my birthday is not till next month i’m just saying this)). but today my mom stood in my room and watched me play her a tune on my newly bought keyboard. she dropped her nectarine and said “por muy emocionada” (or because i was so into it). it’s the muffled keyboard and violin tunes they hear coming from upstairs, it’s the always having music playing on my phone where every i go and it driving people crazy cause “where the f**k is it coming from, and hearing me sing along to the songs i know best. it’s the features my family would miss if i died. i’m saying this because i have a feeling senior year is going to hit me like a train. i still feel like i’m a little baby, cause i’ve always been the little baby of the family. though i was always the baby that was the first to do her own laundry, and clean the whole house on her own, the one that organizes s**t because it’s fun. and i’m going to be the baby that’ll be the first to go to college, if we’re lucky a university, fresh out of highschool. i know i can do it. we’ll see where this life takes us. anyway sorry for this little rant i really needed it. .