Imagine that the news reported that a huge storm was coming. imagine that we were told that unless we seek shelter, we and our families would be destroyed. what would we do? if we really believed that a storm was coming, we would run to shelter, right? only a person who didn’t believe the forecast, would continue playing and ignore the countless warnings. only if you thought it was a lie. only if you didn’t really believe. but how could someone know–really know–that a storm was about to hit, and do absolutely nothing to protect themselves and those they loved? would anyone say, “i’m too busy hanging out”, “i’m too busy on my phone or facebook to run to shelter”, “i’d rather check out this guys’s profile than protect myself from this storm”? no one would say that. and yet, every single time, we put off our prayers, put off wearing hijab, put off giving up dating, put off leaving our poisonous bad company, put off abandoning alcohol…that is exactly what we’re saying.
the fact that we cannot leave these haram things, the fact that we insist: “i will never leave alcoholic drinks,’ ‘i will never give up illegal s****l intercourse.’ ‘i will never give up smoking hooka or pot, or pornography. i will never give up dating and all the so called pleasures associated with it.” that fact that our worship has become only a burden, is a sign that there’s a problem internally. there a problem with our sight. we don’t really see the storm coming. we don’t really see the day of judgment. we haven’t purified and rectified that lump of flesh the prophet (pbuh) spoke about. and as a result, the rest of our bodies, the rest of our actions, the rest of our lives have become corrupted.
we don’t really see allah with our hearts. and we haven’t built our love for him. we haven’t really used our heart for the very purpose for which it was created: to know, to serve, and to love god.
remember that the first verses revealed were not about haram and halal. they were not about dating or drinking or smoking or weed.they were about the fact that as a matter of certainty, just as certain as i am standing in front of you today, that you and i, will meet our maker.
I can't believe how time flies. it's already time for my uk tour inshaallah!
i am so excited about this new course! this weekend i will be in bradford and blackburn for the first time inshaallah! my first london event has sold out, so get your tickets quick before the london course and other cities sell out!
Throughout my travels, i've spoken to a lot of women over the years. and i've realized there is a persistent trend among us.
we are too h*****n ourselves.
way too hard. we carry the burdens of everyone and everything. we feel responsible for everyone and everything. anything that goes wrong is our fault and upon us alone to fix. if we are anything short of perfect, we beat ourselves up mercilessly. any mistake--big or small--goes unforgiven. and it must be punished with brutal self talk.
one slip and the internal whip comes out.
we are *full* of mercy and compassion for others. but have none for ourselves. why? because no matter how hard we are trying, no matter how much we are juggling, no matter how many roles we are balancing, somehow it is still never good enough. to us. we feel unworthy.
i ask women to do this exercise to illustrate the immensity of this gap. imagine your sister or your best friend makes a mistake. now imagine talking to her as you talk to yourself when *you* make a mistake. imagine using the same words against her.
you probably cringed. why? because the truth is we would *never* treat others as horribly as we treat ourselves. and if we did, our relationships would fall apart.
now think of what you're doing to your relationship with yourself. to your own self esteem and self worth. why can you have compassion for others, but none for yourself? why do you have so much mercy for the flaws of others, but are merciless towards yourself?
the prophet (pbuh) said, "have mercy with those on the earth and the one in the heavens will have mercy with you." remember that this hadith includes having mercy *on ourselves*. having compassion *for ourselves*. and what is often the most difficult of all: forgiving ourselves.